BREAKING: Hillary Clinton Has Second Heart Attack While Being Released From The ER

Hillary Clinton was about to get in a wheelchair to be helped out of the emergency room at Westchester General when she suffered a second, more serious hearty attack. Doctors were on scene and were able to stabilize her within minutes, but they’re concerned that a third incident could be life-threatening.

Dr. Eugene Icsa told 4A314 correspondent Cynthia Luwhoe:

“Secretary Clinton is comfortable and stable for the moment but her heart is in need of a good rest. The campaign nearly killed her. It’s a good thing she lost. If she had half the stress President trump has right now she’d be dead.”

The doctor is confident that Clinton will recover without the need for any major surgery but warns that she’ll definitely have to slow down:

“Always trying to stay one step ahead of the law is dangerous business for a woman in her advanced state of aging. She may be 70 but she’s aged like she’s 106.”

This is the woman Democrats wanted running our country, remember?

Clinton’s spokesperson said it Mrs. Clinton wuill be transferred to Bethesda if her condition worsens at all. He said Clinton found the hospital to be a “crude, backwoods version of real medicine.” The doctor said that was mostly the pain medication talking. He obviously doesn’t get that it also sounds exactly like Hillary Clinton talking.

About Flagg Eagleton 14 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.