BREAKING: Eric Trump Just Saved The Lives Of 13 People

Eric Trump was on a trip to Australia this morning when his plane, flying low to take in some scenery, came across a giant “HELP” written in sand on a small island in the middle of nowhere. He instructed his pilot to circle to see if there were people still there.

To his surprise, he saw a group of people, now standing on the beach waving their arms, and knew he had to act:

“I told the pilot to put the plane down so we caould at least give them our food and water and we could wait for a rescue. We had already called in the coordinates and the Australian Navy was on the way.

The pilot refused, so I fired him. I took over, since I have a pilot’s license, and landed the plane in the water about 40 yards offshore. We loaded all of our supplies onto life rafts and made our way to them as the plane sunk under the waves.

We were only there for a few hours before a destroyer appeared on the horizon to pick us up. The people were grateful. I was just doing the kind of thing my father would do.”

The people saved have been invited to spend the weekend at Mar a Lago but as it turns out, they were also headed to Australia on vacation from Somalia, which is one of the countries whose citizens are under extreme vetting processes at the US border. Eric Trump says he wishes them well and hopes once they qualify to enter the country that they’ll look him up.

About Flagg Eagleton 19 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.