BREAKING: Hillary Clinton, 3 Others Found Dead After Hot Air Balloon Crash

Hillary Clinton, her bodyguard and two others have been found dead in the Kiawatha¬†State Forest in Northwestern Kansas this morning in what appears to be the only decent thing she has ever done. According to Park Rangers, Clinton and the other three adults who died purposely fled the balloon’s basket to lead a pair of Kodiak bears away from her grandchildren:

“Little Renee and Max are fine. Clinton and the others left them with a young woman they had never met to lead the bears away and they paid for it with their lives. What’s left of the victims is being cleaned up as we speak.”

It’s tough to handle, Hillary Clinton doing something heroic. How much you wanna bet they find her arm handcuffed to her bodyguard? He probably made her do it. Kudos to whoever REALLY saved those kids.

There’s been no mention of the incident on mainstream media yet. Our contact in the Ranger’s Office says they’ll have to properly ID and notify the families before the press will report it because they’re so afraid of “fake news.” Our friend Eric Bolling at Fox told us:

“There are people out there putting out death stories about Hillary Clinton weekly. It’s tough to report the truth with distractions like that.”

It is indeed. Those outlets that spread lies should be shut down and their owners prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

About Flagg Eagleton 63 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.