BREAKING: Drunk Driver That Killed Malia Obama Is A Clinton-Loving Libtard

In a cruel twist of fate, the drunk driver just jailed for running Malia Obama and three friends into a tree, killing all four, is a Hillary Clinton-loving liberal who rallied for legalized marijuana and called Trump supporters “violent.”

Clara Lee Hasselstick served as a Democrat precinct captain for Hillary Clinton in 2008 and 2016. She is also a vocal proponent for Planned Parenthood, which means human life means nothing to her. She faces four counts of vehicular homicide and the wrath of the Obamas, which will most likely end with her chained to a concrete block in a thousand feet of water somewhere.

Authorities say they aren’t concerned for Hasselstick’s safety, as she will most likely not be able to make her million dollar bail. She is in protective custody in Fort Dietrich’s minimum security wing.

The Obamas haven’t made a statement personally, but spokesman Art Trubolls says they would like and deserve some privacy:

“This family is dealing with the death of their child and sister. They don’t need to be bogged down with questions of revenge. The Obamas are certain the United States criminal justice system will serve the proper justice.”

It’s a great line, but we all know they’re stone-cold killers. That woman doesn’t stand a chance.

About Flagg Eagleton 52 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.