BREAKING: Pledge Of Allegiance ‘Retired From Use’ In Schools In Two Liberal States

Lawmakers in the liberal havens of Massachusetts and Rhode Island have come to the conclusion that patriotism is “a distraction from the lives our children should be leading.” The measures were passed with veto-proof majority in both chambers in both states.

A spokesman for the Massachusetts Democrat party told CNN:

“Patriotism has been hijacked by a bunch of knuckle-dragging racist troglodites who are constitutionally incapable of independent thought. They are a mob of stupidity rolling through our country at mach 5. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts refuses to allow our children to be swallowed in a movement that will likely end on the wrong side of history.”

That just sounds like a lot of big words for “we liberals think we’re just so smart.” Protests are planned outside the Massachusetts State House this weekend. You can contact your local chapter of the Knights of Columbus for details.

About Flagg Eagleton 59 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.