BREAKING: Hillary Clinton Dies A Slow, Horrible Death While Bill And Chelsea Watch

After Hillary Clinton absorbed a lethal dose of hydrochloric acid from the 12-car-pileup she was involved in, her husband and daughter were forced to sit helplessly by her bedside as she writhed in agony for 12 hours. Our source inside Mercy General tells us that the end was something out of a horror film:

“If you’ve ever seen that episode of House where the guy is gonna die fmon acid absorption and he has nobody to call, it was a lot like that. Hillary obviously doesn’y have many people. Her husband didn’t even cry.”

The story has yet to hit the mainstream media, but we’ve verified that the source and the story are absolutely true. We’ve also informed Fox News that they should corroborate; they should be doing so shortly.

The source says that the final two minutes were the worst. Clinton, who was being managed by massive doses of morphine, was still awake and in excruciating pain. She suddenly sat up and vomited what was left of the bulk of her internal organs and slumped over in a dead mass of murderous traitor.

In other words, for us conservative Christians, it was a dream come true. Her reign of terror is over.

About Flagg Eagleton 60 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.